Violet Blue

For my CBSi/ZDNet weekly sex and tech column (it’s a new feature added to my Pulp Tech column), I took a look at the big stories in sex and technology and picked ten biggies. Not all of them were widely reported in mainstream media (like Porn Wikileaks, which got coverage but most of it was inaccurate and judgmental). I noticed that some of these stories are not going away, and will certainly be serious news items that need to be followed into 2012. Like the US internet snooping bill, labeled as anti-porn and opposed by everyone like the UCLU and EFF – I saw while writing this article that it has now been calendared for January. Yikes.

• Read: 2011’s Top Ten Sex and Tech Headlines

(…) Porn bittorent lawsuits went into bizzaroland, sex crime online got stranger, porn apps increased, celebrities collided with online sex culture, Western governments adopted anti-porn censorship tactics against their citizens, dot-XXX saw the light of day and more…

Which stories had an impact?

10. Porn Bittorrent Lawsuits Became A Parody

2011 was definitely the year that public appetites turned against file sharing lawsuits, especially when it the public began to see how carelessly the porn lawsuits were being handled. In May, a legally blind Santa Clara, California man received notice he was being sued for torrenting porn. (…read more, zdnet.com)

Image: Ego Assassin latex Circuit Board dress, from the Circuit Board line, which I want very much.

A midnight kiss, already! Newest galleries of pretty porn, on the last day of 2011. I hope you’ve enjoyed our year in Eye Candy as much as I have enjoyed finding and curating it. (A lot!)

• Belle in Belleza
• Felicity in Equilibrio

• Aelita
• Zelda B., Stacey
• Arlene
• Sofie

• En Homie (sound alert)
• Valerie Wonderful (sound alert)

• Jospephine and Den
• Defrancesca and Richie
• Miela
• Denisa and Matt
• Caprice and Miela
• Tarra and Victoria (pictured)

• Pauline Cooper and Michael
• Jessyca Wilson (anal)
• Miss Lilith (DP)

2011 was a busy year for sex books, and possibly the biggest one yet. The big print publishers that actually *do* produce sex books been stepping up their game, and so have the indies – add to this the self-publishing revolution, something like we’ve never seen in history thanks to e-books, DIY tutorials, online vendors for self-pub digital books and Amazon’s DTP… The market was flooded with juicy sex books, all puns intended.

I usually do an end-of-year list of the sex books I loved the most, the ones I want to make sure you know about before 2012 gets underway. Though I have to admit that there were so many this year, I had to pare the list down to a manageable size so as not to overwhelm readers with dozens of choices.

• See previously for many sexy books: 2010′s Top Hot Sex Books for Gifting, Coveting
• Add more to your hot erotic reading queue: Kink Your Kindle Archives

Here is my selection of 2011′s top picks in explicit erotic lit, sex ed how-to’s, and more. I did not include any of my own books because I hate it when people make “best-of” lists and put their own work on it – though I really do love the books I got to do this year, all of which were with collaboration with really incredibly talented authors and artists. If you want to peep my 2011 work (I’m really proud of it!) look at the end of this post. It includes my newest book Fetish Sex – currently #5 in Amazon’s Sex Bestsellers!

Nonfiction books and how-to guides:

• Sex, Murder, and the Meaning of Life: A Psychologist Investigates How Evolution, Cognition, and Complexity are Revolutionizing our View of Human Nature by Douglas T. Kenrick
  In Sex, Murder, and the Meaning of Life, social psychologist Douglas Kenrick exposes the selfish animalistic underside of human nature, and shows how it is intimately connected to our greatest and most selfless achievements. Masterfully integrating cognitive science, evolutionary psychology, and complexity theory, this intriguing book paints a comprehensive picture of the principles that govern our lives.
  Print : Kindle : Nook

• Rubber Life by 3xL
  Rubber Life explains the attraction to wearing rubber without judgment and with warm encouragement; it gives solid advice on rubber hookups, dating, relationships and meeting people with similar interests. Rubber Life is also love story. Read my complete review here.
  E-Book only; Independently published and distributed (yay!)

• Girlvert: A Porno Memoir by Oriana Small (aka Ashley Blue)
  A hell of a memoir, and sometimes difficult to read due to the emotionally and physically graphic situations: Oriana Small, AKA Ashley Blue, a veritable artist at heart, weaves through the intricacies of a decade in and out of the adult film industry, love, drugs, and her own firebrand of what it means to live ecstatically.
  Print (only)

• The Ultimate Guide to Orgasm for Women by Mikaya Heart
  This is hands-down my #1 recommended book for women about female orgasm. The Ultimate Guide to Orgasm for Women is an unflinchingly honest, responsible, and thoroughly comprehensive exploration of female sexuality. Topics include: The physical types of orgasm; orgasm as an emotional release; the “elusive orgasm” and why some women have difficulty having one; how often we fake them and why; masturbation; multiple orgasms; the male-female dichotomy; penetration and the G-spot.
  Print : Kindle : Nook

• Big Sex, Little Death by Susie Bright
  Susie Bright’s fantastic memoir: In Big Sex Little Death, Bright introduces us to her influences and experiences, including her early involvement with notorious high school radicals The Red Tide as well as the magazine she co-founded in the 1980s, On Our Backs—the first-ever erotic magazine created by women.
  Print : Kindle : Nook

• Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud About Senior Sex by Joan Price
  This book – I love it so much – could be called the “ultimate” guide to sex over 50. Naked at Our Age is a candid, straight-talking book addressing senior sexuality in all its colors—the challenges, the disappointments, and the surprises, as well as the delights and the love stories. Naked at Our Age gives real-life people over fifty a voice to tell stories of their past and present sex lives, ask questions, and get straightforward advice and information from experts. No topic related to elder sexuality is off-limits.
  Print : Kindle : Nook

Erotic fiction, explicit literary hardcore (multi-author short stories):

• Gritty: Rough Erotic Fiction by Sommer Marsden, Alison Tyler, various
  Two of my all-time favorite erotic writers… Plus a host of other stunning authors. Wow. This is dirty. What you will find in this book are tales—tawdry and otherwise—of folks who are on a mission to fulfill their needs. Or, in some cases, people who are lucky enough to have partners willing to help them meet their needs. Dirty, rough, gritty, coarse, sometimes startling—always stimulating. This is love and lust, fucking and seduction on the rough side. The gritty, edgy underbelly of relationships and love and sex.
  Kindle (only)

• Women in Lust: Erotic Stories for Women edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel
  This hot collection is all about women going after the guys that turn them on the most, at that very moment. Sometimes he is someone she knows well, a boyfriend or a husband; in other stories, he is a stranger, and is desirable precisely because he’s… unexplored territory.
  Print : Kindle : Nook

• Hurts So Good: Unrestrained Erotica by Alison Tyler and Barbara Pizio
  Intricately secured by ropes, locked in handcuffs or bound simply by a lover’s command, the characters of Hurts So Good find themselves in the throes of pleasurable restraint in this new collection by prolific, award-winning editor Alison Tyler.
  Print : Kindle : Nook

• Best Erotic Romance edited by Kristina Wright
  Romance and hot nasty sex? Why, yes, thanks for asking! What sets Best Erotic Romance apart is the scorching hot sex and the happily-ever-after (or happy-for-now) ending.
  Print : Kindle : Nook

Photo books:

• Gaga X by Terry Richardson
  Dirty, beautiful and for 18 and over… In this book of original, behind-the-scenes photographs, acclaimed photographer Terry Richardson followed Lady Gaga during one year of her life, from Lollapalooza through the final show of her Monster Ball tour. During the time period Richardson took over 100,000 images of her in all manners of undress. (Sneak peek here.)
  Print (hardcover)

• SECOND SKIN: The Erotic Art of Lingerie by Patrice Farameh
  This book lusciously invites the reader to enter the world of contemporary lingerie design, seductively unveiling all that the heart desires with countless photographs of corsets, garter belts, brassieres, negligees and many more stunning accessories beyond the purely practical.
  Print (hardcover)

2011 books by me, if you’re interested:

• Best Women’s Erotica 2012 edited by Violet Blue
  Best Women’s Erotica 2012 presents the year’s hottest bedside reading by top female authors from around the world. These are my favorite stories; they draw you in, turn you on and leave you with amazing memories. This collection has everything from ancounters at Tweetups to food trucks, and more.
  Print : Kindle : Nook

• Fetish Sex: A Complete Guide to Sexual Fetishes by Violet Blue
  Sexy, cool, informative and practical – Bestselling classic Fetish Sex has been completely updated, revised and expanded to include every kind of sexual fetish imaginable. This book defines and explains more real-life sexual fetishes than anyone has imagined to date.
  Kindle (only)

• Sweet Confessions: Erotic Fantasies for Couples edited by Violet Blue
  These outrageously sexy stories break the mold in literary excellence. The lust-inciting fantasies include spanking, exhibitionism, role-playing, three-ways and sensual adventures that will embolden real couples to reach new heights of passion.
  Print : Kindle : Nook

• Total Flirt: Tips, Tricks, and Techniques Every Girl Needs to Get the Guy by Violet Blue
  Total Flirt teaches readers how to walk like a siren, talk like a bombshell, seduce like a vamp, and even how to do all this on the Internet–the essential guide to having a good time anywhere, anytime, and with anyone.
  Print : Kindle : Nook

2011 Honorable mentions:

• Sex at Dawn by Christopher Ryan
  There are a lot of caveats with this book (like, no opposing views), but it’s still an entertaining, junk-food read: a fascinating sociological look at sexual relations from an evolutionary viewpoint.
  Print: Kindle : Nook

• Body Temperature and Rising by K. D. Grace
  I am a huge fan of K.D. Grace’s explicit, well-crafted writing (I’ve selected and published her work in multi-author “Best” collections), and this novel did not disappoint me. It’s the first of a hardcore paranormal trilogy, and many readers think it is her best work to date. “A voyeuristic encounter on the fells ends in sex with a charming ghost for American Marie Warren who realises she has the ability to unleash demons. Her powers bring her to a coven of witches who practise rare sex magic that allows ghosts access to pleasures of the flesh.” After this, things take a turn for the worse…
  Print : Kindle : Nook

This one’s a quickie: two lovelies with with nice panties (and a little fellatio). If you need more, help yourself to generous portions of Eye Candy archives.

• Kitty
• Lila (pictured)

Tucked into CNN’s Lilly Workneh’s “Top 10 Most Bizarre Tech Stories of 2011” are two amazing new devices from Japan that I somehow missed this past year. I won’t dispute that they’re bizarre from one perspective. But I get a full-on robot chubby seeing devices adapted for this level of technoaffection.

The first invention is the Kiss Transmission Device, from Tokyo’s Kajimoto Laboratory, which is part of the University of Electro-Communications. The device allows virtual French kisses (Japanese kisses?) over chat:

Simply wiggle your tongue on a plastic straw, and it will transmit a signal that remotely makes another plastic straw wiggle — presumably while it is in your lover’s mouth.

[Link.]

No, unfortunately the device at the top of this post is not the Kiss Transmission Device; it’s a 2008 interactive sculpture by Ben Crowden. But it appears way sexier than the Kajimoto kissing machine, which looks like a dental device — or like one of the assistance devices designed for quadriplegics. The only other serious contender in the narrow field of kissing machines is this famed 1939 device from Max Factor.

More on the kissing machine in a moment, but in the meantime, let’s talk about a more recent development — “Hug-chan,” Samsung’s Android-powered hugbot, which occupies the Samsung Galaxy Café in Tokyo. It comes to us from 9to5Google.com, where Christian Zibreg condenses a post from the Samsung site, where there’s even a live robo-hug-cam.

A Galaxy S smartphone issues commands to a Galaxy Tab 10.1 LTE tablet that provides computer vision through its front and back cameras. It also controls the robot’s arms, legs and other moving parts. It doubles as Hug-chan’s charming head with eyes and other facial expressions rendered on the tablet’s display. In addition to the tablet camera, Hug-chan has a few cameras to detect and interact with users. Samsung even set up a website that lets people watch a live video stream from Hug-chan’s cameras.

[Link.]

What is uterly fascinating, as Violet pointed out to me, is that they’ve attached the suffix “-chan” to the name; as many of you probably know, it’s a diminutive appendage of endearment added on to feminine names. Is Samsung saying that the fact that chicks dig hugs will transcends not just species but the leap between biological vs. technological life?

Below is a video of Hug-chan in action, and more behind-the-scenes fun can be found here.

Okay, now that the hugs are out of the way, let’s get back to French kissing, and specifically the kissing machine.

First reported in May of this year, the Kiss Transmission Device would have many more applications than just its conceived purpose of transmitting RT kisses between IRL partners. In fact, at least one suggestion seems (to me) to map perfectly to the Japanese culture of pop idols, in the most wonderful possible way:

The idea is to help lovers — in long-distance relationships, say — by transmitting the tactile sensation of kissing from one person to another. The lab is running both devices on the same computer, but says a system could be set up to connect them via the Web.

“Kiss information” can be recorded and replayed, presumably meaning someone could save and share a “kiss” over and over.

“For example, if you have a popular entertainer use this device and record it, that could be hugely popular if you offer it to fans,” [Researcher Nobuhiro] Takahashi says.

The researchers seem to realize that most people might not exactly find licking a plastic tube a suitable replacement for sucking face. But there are refinements on the way, they say.

“The elements of a kiss include the sense of taste, the manner of breathing and the moistness of the tongue,” Takahashi said. “If we can re-create all of those, I think it will be a really powerful device.”

[Link.]

The applicability of this technology to virtual oral sex is obvious, especially when you factor porn performers into the mix. Downloadable lick-job from Bobbi Starr, anyone?

But as it relates to kissing, “French kissing” really isn’t accurate; I see no lips in evidence. This looks like tongue-kissing to me…as in kissing a disembodied tongue, which for me becomes the first hotness-limiting factor.

I’m a child of the ’80s, so disembodied tongues of any sort immediately call to mind a particularly ghoulish scene in A Nightmare on Elm Street — they have ever since I saw my first creepy example of “The Tongue,” as we used to call the cheap, disembodied-tongue vibrators we refused to carry at Good Vibrations (because they didn’t work, and almost everyone found them creepy). These vibrators didn’t do what tongues do — move like tongues, supple, wet and beautiful. They pretty much sat there vibrating, just like any other vibrator.

That was in the early 2000s. Newer versions of tongue-like sex toys lik the Magic Tongue have improved the model somewhat for oral sex, but not for kissing — and not by much. They remain, basically, vibrators. The most innovative oral-sex-simulating devices are ones like The Sqweel, a multi-tongue wheel which abandons concepts of human anatomy almost (but not quite) altogether. There are also attachments for the Sqweel called Sqweelers, which abandon anatomy even further — and the device’s less expensive cousin The Sqweevee, which is designed to ride on one’s (anatomical or strapped-on) cock. Then there’s JimmyJane’s Form 3, a clit vibrator — reportedly effective, but at best only vaguely tongue-like.

In order to actually kiss, a tongue needs to do a hell of a lot more than just vibrate; in fact, if someone’s tongue vibrated while kissing me, I think I would run for the hills. A tongue that vibrates is of little kissing utility. For most people, it’s of little utility anywhere except a clit (and maybe some other highly erogenous zones).

A kissable tongue needs to wiggle, wobble, slip, slide, relax, and contract. Even leaving aside the desire for something attached to that tongue that might (hopefully) purr, pant, mewl, sigh, whimper, and look hot in lipstick, the Kiss Transmission Device is much closer to my dreamt-of RealKiss model than anything the commercial world has offered so far (including the sort of highly-customized devices you see at, say, Fucking Machines).

I think the inclusion of kisses in a virtual-sex model is totally fascinating and hot. It may seem creepy to those of you for whom the Uncanny Valley is a vast chasm, but for me, there’s a far more important question of human development at stake. Because of the transmissibility of voice, text, photo and video information, those elements become the chief ingredients of any virtual sex model. As a result, as technology enables many of us live a larger part of our sex lives through fantasy, distance learning, out-of-town lovers and other forms of non-in-person sexuality, our sexual responses, interests and skills migrate toward the elements that are easily transmissible or replicable with technology.

The result? An expanded model of human sexuality that is, by the very techniques and developments that enable its expansion, limited.

Sex toys of all forms — especially remotely-controlled ones — can broaden those horizons immensely, but for many people the elements that matter most about in-person sex are ones that don’t have an easy, efficient or effective analog in the sex toy world — kissing and oral sex, plus (or including) smell, taste, and forms of touch that just don’t have an analog within the “vibrate, twist, whirr” model of common commercial sex toys — or even the “thrust” and “shock” available to people with more money to spend and/or days or weeks to spend customizing their devices, plus the expertise to do so.

Those forms of touch — caresses, embraces, hugs — have to be included in any truly preference-inclusive model of technological sex — from distance sex to artificial intelligence to the for-now fantasy-only frontiers of (be still my heart) robosex. Any real distance-sex or machine-loving model simply has to include techno-affection, not just technosex, to achieve anything approaching sexual inclusivity.

Sure, a truly interactive and wiggly robotongue is going to make some of us squee — sometimes — but there remains the need for hugs. Clearly Hug-chan is not going to be deployable to bedrooms near you anytime soon, and Hug-chan’s integration into a virtual sex-affection matrix kind of…scares me, not because of any aversion to getting hugged by robots that look like robots — but because those are some damned powerful arms, Hug-chan…all the better to crush the life out of me with the first time there’s a glitch in my 4G coverage. Which doesn’t sound like much of a robo-erotic hoedown.

Excitingly, a second Japanese invention in Lilly Workneh’s Top 10 list addresses exactly that need — and her reaction to it illustrates the lengths to which tech reporters are willing to go to distance themselves from the machines they worship. Exhibited at Japan’s 3D and Virtual Reality Expo this year, it’s a vest that hugs you.

We all need a hug at times, but it doesn’t always happen when someone non-creepy is around to give us one. Instead, you can hug yourself by wearing a vest that hugs you back.

This invention, which was displayed at Japan’s 3D and Virtual Reality Expo this year, allows individuals to wear a coded black vest that simulates a hug through programmed air compressions.

The mastermind behind this creation says he was curious as to how it would feel.

We think that if that aforementioned non-creepy person isn’t around, it may be better to ask the creep for that hug before putting on this very odd vest.

[Link.]

See? There we go again. The editorial “we” — just heartbeats from the societal “we” — says it’s better to hug a “creepy” person — read that as “someone trying to get unsolicited sexual contact by disguising it as a hug” — than to rely on a device to get the physical sensation of a hug.

To me, such an attitude is symptomatic of the overall psychological barrier that exists against any “new” (for the user) human-device interactions. It looks suspiciously like the resistance many first-time sex-toy users (and the sex-toy curious) have to things that vibrate, squirm, get inserted or otherwise stimulate. It’s also not that far off from the prejudice that says “It’s okay to send erotic emails…but sexting is just trashy,” or “It’s okay to pose for sexy pics for your lover, but only attention whores would ever let them get posted online.” The double standard is in evidence: technological sex and technoaffection become threatening to tech reporters the moment they start to upset the apple cart of their own human/machine boundaries.

And for the record, my personal Uncanny Valley would require a far greater leap to be able to tongue-kiss a machine operated by another human being (or a computer program) than to get hugged by one. And to get hugged by a machine that I was controlling? You don’t even have to ask; I’d be all over that shit in an instant. In fact, I may be tempted go find a single-looking blood pressure cuff as soon as I’m done posting this.

The hugging vest isn’t mentioned as a potential distance-affection keep-in-touch sort of thing, the way the kissing machine is. It’s certainly not discussed as a “replicable” technology in the way that the “celebrity kiss” is presented by Takahashi as a fan-service opportunity.

The assumption seems to be “Who would pay for a hug?”

But having gotten hugs from some of the hottest porn stars in the business, I can say that I’d rather pay money for a downloadable Lorelei Lee Hug or Madison Young Haven’t-Seen-You-In-A-While Embrace than for anything else virtual on offer…except maybe a really hot porn story.

Wrap it all up together — a hugging vest and virtual tongue-kissing with some 3D audio purring out a truly inspiring fantasy, and maybe we’re starting to get something as close to virtual reality as the user’s inhibitions will allow it to be.

As sexually interactive software develops, maybe those hugs can be given by a virtual being as “real” to the user as the user chooses to make him…her…hir…hem…as you like it, with your imaginary lover limited more by information technology than anatomical or biological reality. The gap between salable commodities (media + sex toys + software) and “real/unreal” reality (the presence of a lover) will blend together with acts of consumer creativity — customizing one’s own sexual fantasy life to include a truly interactive piece of equipment that may, arguably have its own mental life.

Then the boundaries between reality and fantasy, receptivity and creativity, may really start to disintegrate…having been only as real to begin with as the suspension-bondage of disbelief.

I, for one, see that as a good thing.

Lead image: Kissing Machine, 2008, Ben Crowden. Photo by Ben Crowden via Ars Electronica’s Flickr stream.

This video – Best Bike Rentals In The Globe by Stason Bros. (hot photos; sound alert) – was just uploaded this month. But it is one of my absolute favorites for 2011. Wherever and whenever this video’s reality exists in the time/pace continuum, someone please put me there!

• UK tabloid The Sun has a great collection of sexy stills of Rihanna from her hot new video, You Da One. Rihanna’s new video is BAD (The Sun)

• This is one of my favorite posts of 2011. “For anybody with an interest in cultural history — and especially, aspects of cultural history that have ever been covert or officially suppressed, like porn — it’s this “everything floats up to the surface and becomes visible, in time” aspect of the Internet that is most miraculous.” Bondage Sex And The Liberation Of Culture (Eros Blog)

• Tantus is having a deep end of the year sale on their high quality silicone sex toys – don’t miss this one. Closeout Items (Tantus Toys)

• 2011 saw so much boundary-breaking in pop that the lines seem forever pulled down. There were several underground rap hits unabashedly celebrating oral pleasures; Top 10 songs about sex addiction, the cowgirl position and extraterrestrial booty; country music’s embrace of the stripper pole (…) The Year In Pop And Profanity (NPR)

• Low pitched voices are perceived as masculine and attractive but do they predict semen quality in men? The Semen Quality of Deep-Voiced Men [study] (Improbable Research, via Mary Roach)

• Lady Gaga‘s Christmas present to her fans was this really catchy song about hanging out and fucking: Lady Gaga’s Stuck On Fuckin’ You (YouTube)

• Ten bills stood out as particularly perturbing and far-reaching efforts to stymie women’s access to abortion services, birth control, and vital women’s health services like breast cancer screenings. Here are ThinkProgress’s nominations for the most extreme attacks on a woman’s right to choose… The GOP’s 10 Most Extreme Attacks On A Woman’s Right To Choose An Abortion (ThinkProgress)

• This UK conference next year about sex writing looks really interesting: Eroticon 2012 (conference.eroticnotebook.co.uk)

• Forced “virginity tests” on female detainees were ruled illegal in Egypt on Tuesday, after a court ordered an end to the practice. The decision may open door to financial compensation for women subjected to tests during anti-government protests. ‘Virginity tests’ on Egypt protesters are illegal, says judge (Guardian UK)

• Corey Silverberg digs into the stats and dishes up the ten most popular sex questions of 2011, according to his (excellent) work at About.com: Sex. 2011 Top Ten Sex Questions (About: Sex)

• Early reports suggested that companies and schools were snapping up .xxx domains to prevent them from being used for pornographic purposes. “There’s been a lot of news about people rushing to buy .xxx,” Bursztein told CNET today. “But after the dust settled, it turns out that the data don’t agree with the hype.” These .xxx domains are ready to hook up (CNET News)

• Much-maligned sex ad site Backpage.com is cooperating with Detroit police in the investigation of four women found dead in car trunks, including three who promoted their services online. Since Dec. 19, the bodies of four women have been found in car trunks; Backpage says that the investigation is expanding to involve at least 30 different ads on multiple websites. Website with sex-related ads says it’s cooperating with Detroit police in trunk-death probe (The Washington Post)

• For Masanobu Sato, his skill is jerking off. The Tokyo native holds the masturbation world record at San Francisco’s annual Masturbate-a-thon for the longest continuous time spent masturbating: 9 hours and 58 minutes. To prepare for the event, Sato swam twice weekly and gained five kilograms of muscle. Video: World Masturbation Champion Prefers Anime Girls to Real Girls (Kotaku)

• Studies show the holiday season is prime time for baby making. Anneli Rufus reports on which day, at what time, and in what weather you stand the best chance of having sex. It’s High Time for Conception: Studies Show Peak Times, Weather for Sex (The Daily Beast)

• As Jiz Lee pointed out in a tweet today, “Breaking the Lesbian Porn ceiling: Girlfriends Films openly promotes their first trans woman lesbian porn star.” That would be my crush, Drew Deveaux in Boutique, Part 1. You can watch the hardcore trailer here and read more in: “Boutique” part 1 available now on DVD (Girlfriends Films)

• “All these young Aspergians want to know how to succeed at dating,” John Robison told his son after his speaking engagements. And as a high school girlfriend broke up with Jack over the course of that year, Jack began to wonder more urgently about the same question. Love and Autism (NY Times)

• A proposed ballot measure that would require porn actors to wear condoms while filming in the city of Los Angeles has qualified for the June ballot, according to a letter from the city clerk certifying that proponents had gathered enough valid signatures. Measure requiring porn actors to wear condoms qualifies for L.A. ballot (Sacramento Bee)

• The obscenity trial of a woman who was given a ticket for driving a truck displaying fake testicles was delayed again Wednesday, this time because not enough potential jurors showed up. Obscenity trial gets 3rd delay (The Post and Courier, image via)

• Pointed out by a commenter at Techdirt, seven years ago Denmark got a child pornography filter on the Internet; since then it’s been used almost exclusively – actually, abused – by big businesses (recording industry) and government entities (Danish politicians) to silence websites that these entities don’t like. Funniest/Most Insightful Comments Of The Week At Techdirt (Techdirt)

• Catholic Most Holy Redeemer Church in San Francisco was recently asked by the city’s Catholic archdiocese to rescind invitations to three gay-friendly clergy who had been invited to perform a series of pre-Christmas evening services. The reason? Christmas isn’t a time of year when the Catholic church thinks anyone should be discussing gay themes, even if the whole room is full of gay people.Gay-Friendly Castro Church Forced To Disinvite Gay-Friendly Clergy From Pre-Christmas Services (SFist)

I hadn’t even slept off my ham hangover this Christmas before the sales pitches started hitting my inbox. The very first came from Apple, telling me “Now it’s time to treat yourself.” I couldn’t agree more — in my book, it’s always time to treat myself. But is it just my imagination, or do more and more days of the year seem to be set aside for shopping-related holidays?

The day after Christmas has long been the time for many consumers to hit the after-Christmas sales, but now retailers are trying to make it a mini-Cyber Monday. In the UK and most Commonwealth nations, it’s Boxing Day, “a day following Christmas when wealthy people in the United Kingdom would give a box containing a gift to their servants,” but in the U.S. most shopping-orgy holidays are about indulging on your own behalf, not buying presents.

But at my place this year, it was all about cooking, crafts and obscure vintage items from the depths of fashion history. That’s why I’m choosing today to fall in love with a few pieces of erotic retail therapy on Etsy that get at the heart of why I love this big, crazy, sexy consumer world we live in.

First, I can’t get over the truly spankable derrière cufflinks at the top of this post. Even when dressing to the nines, I don’t generally wear French cuffs — but I  may start.   Can you imagine anything more appropriate to wear during the spirited administration of an over-the-knee spanking? (Or, better yet, a spanking performed over one of these.) The seller, woman-owned and Bristol-based Urban Eye, has a variety of other ultra-classy erotic cufflinks (I like to think of them as “flufflinks”). Here’s a pair with a female-female bondage theme:

Additional sexy scenes include Renoir’s nude bathers, Manet’s Olympia, Courbet’s nudes, Klimt’s “The Kiss” and a wide variety of vintage nudes (plus some Lego-themed cufflinks), while sister shop Pink Burlesque sells burlesque-inspired jewelry “for the girls” (i.e., anyone who looks good in jewelry). Pink Burlesque’s jewelry is unbelievably sexy, but not exactly “erotic” — unlike this pendant, which, if it errs, does so by being perhaps a bit obvious:

(Under Oak Studios‘ “Fuck” pendant via Alison Tyler.)

Next, I can’t get over these Seven Deadly Sins tights that Rachel Kramer Bussel pointed out to me after spotting them on a friend. I can spot about three items from the list that I’d like to perform on those legs. The best thing about tights like this is that you can grab a Sharpie and use them as a checklist–much harder to misplace in the heat of a triple-sin moment than a 3 x 5 card or a torn-out page from your Daily Missal. These are the kind of crib notes I can get behind!

And yes, those are available on Etsy, too. Since I’ve already covered Envy, I think I’d start with Lust, Gluttony and Greed, and not in a gross David Fincher-Kevin Spacey type way.

Last, but far from least, if you or your “servant” play chess, you just may squee over this erotic chess set, handmade by UK artist Nicola Ford from a “ground stone compound”. At 140 pounds Sterling, the price is a little steep, but it’s gorgeous. This photo shows only the white pieces, so you can see a few details:

Here are a couple of close-ups, and more photos are available at the seller’s Etsy store:

I thought that extra Eye Candy posts over the holidays might be nice… :)

Holiday porn sales:

• Madison Young’s Feminist Porn Network is having a “Holiday High Five” sale, where membership to any of the (explicit!) Feminist Porn Network sites is only $5 per month, or $55 for a year-long membership if you purchase before January 1, 2012. This sale celebrates the launch of their newest site, FemiFist.com.
• Right now there’s 50% off for new members at The Life Erotic – until December 31, 2011 the half-off price reduction makes it $14.97 per month.
• Also right now award-winning porn art site Met Art is 50% off until January 15, 2012 (it’s also only $14.97/month).

New babes and free eye candy:

• Carla : Happy Ending
• Kitty : After Hours

• Yoko Yoni
• Caprice Melting Ice
• Nikola Purple Hotpants
• Maya Good Morning

• Anna – Crazy summer afternoon
• Alissa White – Shack (main post photo)

Shout out to my sponsor this week, do give them a click: PV Locker – cloud storage for everything NSFW!

This Eye Candy post is all about hot indie porn with an accent on Xmas giving – and I’m so pleased I can give you this! Happy holiday!

Best of holiday babes:

• Verunka: Merry Christmas
• Razor Candi
• Lena M., Irma D.
• Rea Rich: Xmas
• Jenya D. by Leonardo (at right)
• Divinity Love: Xmas box
• Katia D – Miss Santa
• Kiki – Christmas vibrations

Holiday hardcore:

• Merry Christmas with Shyla (main post photo)
• More Xmas with Shyla
• Ariel – Special Gift

I really wanted to give someone I love a gift for the holiday season. Wonderfully, I realized this person is you.

For today, this holiday, I made my new book Fetish Sex free! I had a chance to make it free and I picked today (Christmas Day) as its free day.

It is an exclusive Kindle book, and you should go get it on Amazon and kink the hell out of your Kindle! The free download status ends at midnight tonight (12/25). This is your chance for you and friends to put it -affordably- on your Kindle. (In spring 2012 it will be available in other formats.)

I wanted to make it free for you today as my gift to you. I hope this gesture can show you how much I appreciate you for reading and following along through, well, everything. This book is something I worked harder on than I can possibly explain and means so much to me, is self-published and totally out of my own pocket, and so you should know that this gift is heartfelt. If you like it and want to ‘give back’ please do ‘like’ the book on its Amazon page – or share it with friends, tell those you care about that it’s pretty cool, or steal it and share it in a way you know people who need it can get its info to help them out. I made this, and it’s this lone girl author’s self-published endeavor. Happy holiday!

Thank you. You mean more to me than I can express here. Grab the file, and love it hard.

Fetish Sex is packed with information and guidance for individuals of all genders and sexual orientations, for singles and solos, for couples, and for sex educators everywhere. Fetishes are clearly described and the scope is enormous, including (but not limited to); rubber, medical, age-play, human animals, adult babies, bodily fluids, necrophilia, sleeping, chastity, panties, corsets, shoes, body parts, Japanese curiosities, human dolls, cross-dressing, sissies, strange and shocking, extreme and impossible fetishes, and much more – in vivid detail.

Fetish Sex began as an indiepub cult classic, and has now been completely updated, revised and expanded to include every kind of sexual fetish imaginable. This book defines and explains more real-life sexual fetishes than anyone has imagined to date. The book features explicit short erotic stories by Thomas Roche and a beautiful new cover by Steve Diet Goedde.

This meticulously researched and greatly increased second edition makes Fetish Sex the most comprehensive factual and practical book on sexual fetishes available.

Think you might have a fetish? This guide tells you if you do, or not. And if you do, this is where to learn how to make the most of it in safety, pleasure and answers questions about sharing fetishes.

The compendium also features erotica by novelist Thomas Roche, graphically illustrating sex with different fetishes. Resources include websites, fetish entertainment, etiquette, safety, books, communities, advice for non-fetishists that are in a relationship with a fetishist, and information on finding fetish-aware therapists. Fetish Sex is a guide for understanding, controlling and making the most of a fetish, whether alone or with a partner. Because the truth is, “normal” sex is exactly the kind of sex you enjoy.

Fetish Sex Table of Contents:

• xi Introduction – Fetish: An Odyssey Of Searching and Finding
• Defining Sexual Fetishism
• Mother Superior – erotic fiction by Thomas Roche
• Sexual Secrets
• Fetishes and Sex
• Nurse’s Duties – erotic fiction by Thomas Roche
• Body, and Body Part Fetishes
• Fetish Dressing
• Human Animals
• Good Dog – erotic fiction by Thomas Roche
• The Heart of Fetish: Role-Play
• Job Interview – erotic fiction by Thomas Roche
• Cross-Dressing and Sissies
• Girls’ School – erotic fiction by Thomas Roche
• Handle With Care: Medical Play and Adult Babies
• Everything That Ails You – erotic fiction by Thomas Roche
• Still Life: Human Dolls, Bimbos, Sleeping and Necrophilia
• Emma’s New Dolly – erotic fiction by Thomas Roche
• Fetish Sex Rules
• Resources: Websites, Books, Videos and More

Fetish Sex: A Complete Guide is a Kindle exclusive, and a Kindle Select – free in Amazon’s lending library for all Amazon Prime members.

• This week in sex and tech – Vatican-dot-XXX, Silicon Valley sperm donor’s other hobby, sex workers protest at Google, and more porn in the SOPA debate. Sex Tech Weekly: Google Sex Protest, Vatican-dot-XXX, SOPA (Pulp Tech)

• In late 2009, Walgreens signed a licensing deal to sell one of Screaming O’s brands in 7,000 drugstores. Their products, with bright, explicit packaging, are also sold through Amazon.com, Drugstore.com, and RiteAid.com, as well as stores in 27 foreign countries. Sex Toy Designer Screaming O Pushes Past Novelty Shops into Walgreens Aisles (Bloomberg)

• A big year for sexual health? This year has been filled with many exciting, groundbreaking and interesting events in the sexual health arena. Top 10 sexual health events of 2011 (South Florida Sun-Sentinel.com)

• This month, magazines, blogs, and talk shows are full of advice about how to make your sweetheart, friend-with-benefits, or upcoming one-night wonder explode with pleasure. Dr. Marty Klein suggests the opposite approach: that sex during the holidays may not be such a great idea. Here are five reasons why… 5 Reasons NOT To Have Sex Over The Holidays (Dr. Marty Klein | YourTango)

• After two recent controversies involving former adult stars and school kids, pornstar Aurora Snow issues a polemic about equating work in porn with bad morals. Pornstar Aurora Snow on the Sasha Grey School Controversy (The Daily Beast)

• Scientific American debuted Jesse Bering’s science-focused sex advice column this week, and it’s intense. I think it’s my favorite sex advice column right now, and it’s not for the sexually squeamish… This week, men into young girls, an older anti-feminist male seeks a girlfriend, and a female psychotherapist who acts like a crazed teenager in her relationships. “Dear Jesse, I like very young girls.” (Bering in Mind, Scientific American Blog Network)

• Gay porn blog The Sword picked their favorite eight hottest guys on Instagram – and a few of them are really hot. Are These Eight Hotties The Hottest Eight Hotties On Instagram? (The Sword)

• As reported earlier this week, French medical authorities will this week tell 30,000 women who received defective breast implants to have them removed after several suspcious cases of cancer. Now the BBC reports there is no risk. What a mess. Breast implants ‘have no cancer link’ says UK watchdog (BBC News)

• Yes, those are real boobs of a real woman sticking out of the (glory) holes of the Association’s breast cancer awareness poster (“Touch to know if it’s real”). It was erected during Mozambique’s Fashion Week. Breast cancer awareness poster with real breasts (Copyranter)

• At the moment, it appears Leo Laporte made a simple technological mistake that turned out to have much larger ramifications than its blink-of-an-eye duration would suggest. Prospective investors and business partners, on the other hand, won’t take comfort in the hedonistic pleasures Laporte indulges with the business executive who was supposed to bring discipline and financial growth to his company. How the Voice of Tech Leaked His Own Sex Chat (Gawker, main post image via)

Let me interrupt this edition of Sex News to explain why I think the downfall of tech personality Leo Laporte is well worth noting.

For whatever his reasons, Mr. Laporte has seen fit to characterize me as a ‘whore’ since the early days of his podcast (TWiT #16; TWiT #86). More succinctly, he has suggested I am a sex worker in at least two episodes of his technology podcast. And no, I don’t think anyone believes he was actually “confused” on any occasion. When he most famously did it to me in 2007, he went way too far and there was an angry backlash that sparked wider discussion about sexism in technology. The public condemnation compelled him to issue an apology – but not to me. He apologized indirectly, to one of my editors. Classy.

Let me be clear. I have never done sex work, nor have I ever performed in pornography. I am a woman that writes about sex; author, an online columnist, and a sex educator. I have no idea why this guy has behaved so repugnantly toward me, or why guys like him think it’s okay to do this to women in technology – or the wider world.

So when I read today that Mr. Laporte accidentally leaked his own illicit sex chats on his video podcast, revealing his extramarital affair with his female boss, I had to pause and observe the hypocrisy. Of a man that would devalue a woman who writes about sex, devalue sex workers as if their job made them discount for anything else – and then be a someone that isn’t what he represents in the very area of life that he harshly judges and discounts women for.

Because, you see, I really think that guys like him, guys that attempt to insult, humiliate and degrade women over sexuality are exactly the kind of guys you think they are in real life, in their own lives. Dirtbags.

Best of this week’s French hardcore and alt babes – it’s Eye Candy:

• Jessyca Wilson
• Mademoiselle Lilith
• Sweet Arella
• Great scene with my favorite French performer, Jasmine Arabia with Titof

• Stoya in rubber
• Ariel Adore
• Stoya (pictured)
• nerdy Joanna
• Stoya in the office
• Ariel Adore and Arden

I would present this without comment but I just can’t – I wholly endorse the message in this music video. She uploaded it yesterday and already that dick is writing checks to the tune of a million views. Hey YouTube, you gonna name one of your meme-named meeting rooms after Bounce That Dick, or what!? (If you do, please invite me to the meetings in that room, kthx.)

I’ve been a closet Jenna Marbles viewer for a couple of months now, so consider this my coming out post. I guess it’s like my own internalized valleygirlaphobia. But she is exactly the kind of California spazz that I find comforting and familiar. Judge me if you must.

• Bounce That Dick – Jenna Marbles (YouTube)

A new gallery just landed in my inbox, and I think you’ll agree that there is some stunning use of a fish-eye lens in this set. Well worth an Eye Candy one-shot.

• Kala Ferard – Eye

Before you click to watch the above trailer for “Tokyo Species” starring Japanese porn star/AV idol Maria Ozawa, be warned that the video contains gore, lots of fake blood, and scenes of explicit sex combined with violence. If you’re cool with all of that, then take a second warning that this is indeed a low-budget Japanese version of Species, and your click on the ‘play’ button indicates your informed consent to be subjected to a seriously cheesy trailer for what will most certainly be an awesome-for-all-the-wrong reasons film.

Let me put it this way: tentacles and Japanese porn stars.

I think you’ve seen enough of that sort of thing to know how this turns out.

• Maria Ozawa Out-Sexes Natasha Henstridge In Tokyo Species (Twitchfilm)

• In one fell swoop, the enormous tattoo on a bare woman’s body on the cover of this month’s issue of FHM India managed to demystify, emasculate and parody the ISI (Pakistani’s secretive Inter-Services Intelligence Directorate) — something most people have been afraid to do in public since the inception of the agency a year after the birth of the nation in 1947. What the Reaction to Veena Malik Says About Pakistan Today (The AfPak Channel)

• A Navy tradition caught up with the repeal of the U.S. military’s “don’t ask, don’t tell” rule on Wednesday when two women sailors became the first to share the coveted “first kiss” on the dock after one of them returned from 80 days at sea. Two women share first kiss at US Navy ship’s return (MSNBC)

• This. Is. Beautiful. “Gender is not a subject that I would have broached in primary grades a few years ago. In fact, I remember scoffing with colleagues when we heard about a young kindergarten teacher who taught gender-related curriculum. We thought her lessons were a waste of instructional time and laughed at her “girl and boy” lessons…” One teachers approach to preventing gender bullying in a classroom (Together For Jackson County Kids)

• Sex workers are protesting Google. SWAAY is spearheading the response to Google’s large donations to three morality groups that push for the further criminalization and dehumanization of sex workers, groups whose work has been especially harmful to sex workers in the developing world. Why are sex workers’ rights supporters upset with Google? (SWAAY)

• The FDA is cracking down on a Silicon Valley man who gives away his sperm on the internet to people he meets through his website. But all the reports about him leave out one fairly important fact. He is extremely fond of posting explicit videos and pictures of his sperm donations on the web. The Porny Pastimes of the World’s Most Famous Sperm Donor (Gawker)

• World Series sex tickets no big deal after all. A Pennsylvania judge has overturned an attempted-prostitution conviction for a woman accused of trying to trade sex for World Series tickets. Sex-for-Series tickets conviction tossed (UPI)

• Oh bears. Is there anything they can’t do? This Sexy Santa prank video by Destructiod is currently viral. Sexy Santa (YouTube)

• A group of dancers from a number of San Francisco strip clubs presented a check for $20,000 to a local firefighters’ union Wednesday evening for its annual toy drive. This year’s donation made headlines after the check presentation, which was scheduled to take place at Fire Station 1 on Howard Street, had to be moved because Fire Chief Joanne Hayes-White objected to holding the event at the station. Strippers can’t present toy-drive check at San Francisco firehouse, chief says (San Jose Mercury News)

• Durex condoms is currently running an ad in India that shows a woman smiling coyly alongside the copy “hmm…did he? didn’t he?” Below her, it reads: “Experience the new durex superthin ultima. Our thinnest condom. So thin, you can leave her pleasantly puzzled–did he really use one? Or didn’t he?” I don’t generally find it “pleasant” to have to “puzzle” over whether or not I’ve just been exposed to potential impregnation and whatever STDs the person I’ve slept with might have… Durex Thinks It’s Cute To Leave Her Wondering Whether Or Not You Used Protection (The Gloss)

• Last week saw the publication of a paper Multi-person Sex among a Sample of Adolescent Female Urban Health Clinic Patients. The paper uses terms like ‘sex parties’, ‘multiple sexual partners’ and ‘gang rape’ interchangeably in places. Media reported on the story with scare-mongering headlines like: Group sex is the latest ‘trend’ for teenage girls, disturbing report reveals – Daily Mail (The Daily Mail ran coverage of it twice). Teenagers and group sex: a cause for concern? (Dr. Petra)

• Eight cases of cancer had been reported in women who had received banned breast implants. French medical authorities will this week tell 30,000 women who received defective breast implants to have them removed after several suspcious cases of cancer, Daily Liberation reported Tuesday. France to order 30,000 women to remove breast implants after several suspicious cases of cancer (NY Daily News)

• Defrancesca and Richie
• Tarra and Victoria
• Simona (image at top)
• Junia

• Pauline Cooper with Mike Angelo
• Coco Charnelle and Rico
• Liza Del Sierra and Lola Paris fisting
• Lola Paris and Lola Vinci

Renowned fetish photographer Steve Diet Goedde (also the cover artist of my new book Fetish Sex) just did something really neat with two of his out-of-print fetish photo books: he’s made videos out of the experience of looking through each book. On eBay, copies of the first book go anywhere from $150-$500. You can watch each of the videos in this post, or visit each video’s page on Vimeo and read the backstory Goedde wrote about each volume. What a great idea! Here are links to both:

• Steve Diet Goedde: “The Beauty of Fetish”
• Steve Diet Goedde: “The Beauty of Fetish: Volume II”

It’s an Eye Candy ‘best of babes’ – featuring ladies being brave and baring all in the snow – presented in hopes of warming you up during this chilly winter, of course…

• Ashley Bulgari: Snow brakes (at right)
• Katie: Snow field
• Zoe: Snowball

• Gwen A. (main post image)
• Milana
• Uliana
• Milana (again)
• Izabelle
• Izabelle (again)